5 More to break...ramble

I have decided this week, that next year...if I'm still teaching (who knows what the future holds)...I'm going do do a 12 days of Christmas in my classroom. I want to have some sort of Christmas activity each day for the 12 days leading up to Winter break. I have no idea what it will look like. Hopefully, I'll actually follow through. I really don't know how you fantastic teachers come up with units of study. I feel like I'm sinking in common core and testing.

But oh well..

Today, I taught my kids how to make snowflakes...and not the crappy square ones. It took the last 15 minutes of school to do it. I didn't send home folders. We just needed something fun to do. One girl said I was the best teacher ever and then asked for my autograph.

My best friend's brother is dying. He stopped breathing on Monday and hasn't had any brain activity in the last 24+ hours. She lost her mom about a year and a half ago to cancer. Her brother has had health issues all his life, but this is obviously the most serious thing to happen.

I told one of my kids about it today because I've been keeping my phone close during breaks. I told her that my friend's brother was very sick and in the hospital. She said that I need to go get him some vitamins and take them to the hospital so he could get better. How sweet!? I wish it was that easy.

The other day she told me that her head was going to explode with peas. I asked her if she had peas at lunch. She said..."no. Nachos." I laughed. Yesterday she told me her head was going to explode. I asked her with what this time. She says..."uh...lots of little Miss R___'s (my name)". I gave her the strangest look. Ha! I love that kid.

5 more school days to go. We so got this...and will somehow squeeze in a crazy amount of testing!

Getting Back..

I feel like I need to take a step back. I have somehow lost myself.

I question my decision to be a teacher.

Don't misunderstand. I LOVE teaching. When I talk about it with family and friends, I get such passion and joy for what I do. It seems that when I step back into the classroom/school, it gets lost.

I can't keep up with the changes. I am constantly being made aware where MY preparation to be a teacher had massive holes. (Like I never learned what should or shouldn't be included in a small group reading lesson.)

I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to get back to myself. I would honestly love to throw my curriculum out the window for a week to just enjoy learning. Maybe I'd enjoy teaching.